In the introduction to my story, I mentioned that people have asked how my faith and my orienta­tion intersected and collided. During that first year at CUC, there was a spiritual “event” that conspired against me to create great expectations on one hand and disillusionment on the other. Those expectations intensified my internal conflict and would carry forward to the time when I was in reparative therapy. Because my spiritual formation was profoundly influenced by that event, I will explore it at some length. Bear with me, as I get a bit theological.

While I was in Japan, an Adventist pastor had been giving Week of Prayer lectures on Adventist campus­es in the United States. I initially learned of Morris Venden through audiocassette tapes (showing my age again). While I enjoyed the taped messages, I was thrilled when I ob­tained a print copy of the fall 1975 Student Movement, the student news­paper for Andrews University. That 28-page issue was a transcript of Venden’s Week of Prayer messages.

My orientation continued to manifest on a daily basis, and there were times when it in­truded noticeably. As in high school, it sometimes caused me to modify my be­havior. Four examples have stayed with me all these years.

But before I continue, I feel it’s impor­tant to reiterate that, even though I can now write about these situations with a high degree of awareness, at the time I still had not named my experience. I did not identify as homosexual or gay. I was, however, growing increasingly aware of how differently I experienced the world compared to my male friends.

You and Your Health is a three-vol­ume set focusing on concerns and questions related to health. I don't remember the first time I pulled it off the library shelf; but, when I did, I did so sur­reptitiously to avoid being asked what I was reading. I know I looked at it several times during high school and col­lege. Browsing through it was not a good expe­rience. Before I look at the article, I have two questions.

First, who is most likely to pick up a reference book to do research on homo­sexuality? I hope you answered, Someone wondering about his or her own experi­ence.

High School Years at Kingsway

BY JERRY MCKAY

Memories of my early school years are generally positive, but adolescent memory is selective. As might be expected, it is the rare and bizarre events that have stayed with me.

My first two years of education were in one-room schools with one teacher res­ponsible for all eight grades. Mrs. Millar ran a tight ship and yet created a warm environment. There were a lot of open-book exercises and copious copying of notes from the board. If we finished our work, we colored quietly and listened to what was being taught to the upper grades. Our library consisted of ten small shelves behind two doors at the front of the class­room.

Most of what characterizes my life today—work, family, and faith—looks little like what I thought it would when I graduated from college in 1980. Because of my sexual orientation, nothing is as I expected. I still identify as Seventh-day Adventist, but I do not have the same relationship with my church as I once had. I am open about my orientation to most people, and I have been in a relationship for nearly twenty-five years. Don’t let that fact, however, lead you to make assumptions about my theology. That I am a professing Christian is applauded by some and questioned by others. LGBT acquaintances and some heterosexual friends often ask me why I continue to associate with a faith community that has had a checkered relationship with its LGBT members. Others wonder how I can consider myself a Christian while in a relationship.

In addition to the why-do-I-continue and the how-can-I-consider-myself questions are a multitude of other questions that people have asked me over the years.